#GradStudentProblems

I found this hilariously accurate article on Buzzfeed and I could not resist the urge to copy and paste this to share it. It's just too, too accurate. 

However, there's one major flaw in this post:

I doubt I'm going to get that much more money with this degree, just saying. #SAproblems

Other than that, yeah, pretty accurate. Side note: Buzzfeed completes me. Seriously. 

Source: http://www.buzzfeed.com/jessicamisener/what-grad-school-is-really-like

So you decided to go to grad school. Congratulations!

Via: helpingpsychology.com

Knowledge is pretty freaking cool.

Via: gifstumblr.com

Someday you'll get a fancy diploma that will help you earn more money, or whatever.

Via: http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3s4rnOG2O1qcbs8ao1_500.gif

But you know, a lot of people think that grad school is just like a continuation of undergrad. And it's definitely NOT.

Via: static

For example, this was your school spirit in college:

Via: i.usatoday.net

School spirit in grad school: Ain't nobody got time for that.

Via: http://25.media.tumblr.com/f07746e027ea2a5c7bb22c18a3ba4bd9/tumblr_mimx2aYL931qasthro1_500.gif

Social life in college:

Via: images.wikia.com

Social life in grad school:

Via: www

Leaving a progress meeting with your advisor in college:

Via: media

Leaving a progress meeting with your advisor in grad school:

Via: media

Your apartment in college:

Via: blog.apt2b.com

Your apartment in grad school:

Via: media

Drinking coffee in college:

Via: likecool.com

Coffee in grad school:

Via: http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3qr13aaoZ1rskeexo1_400.gif

Dating in college:

Via: http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lt5s9r5c711qcetufo1_500.gif

Dating in grad school is more like:

Via: media

In college, your main job is to consume knowledge.

Via: mewbooks.com

In grad school, you're supposed to be the one PRODUCING the knowledge.

Via: mewbooks.com

Fridays in college: no class.

Via: media

Fridays in grad school: IT NEVER STOPS.

Via: static

Your best friend in college:

Via: farm4.static.flickr.com

Your best friend in grad school:

Via: farm4.static.flickr.com

In college, you study really general things.

Via: http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbe63vuaDA1rfqcsyo1_500.gif

In grad school, you focus on something so specialized you can discuss it with literally two other people on the planet.

Via: media

Spring break in college:

Via: media

Spring break in grad school: field trip to the archives.

Via: http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpkwjrtIxg1qcrzulo1_500.gif

And finally, in college you feel pretty confident, because you were at the top of your class:

Via: http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_llv8imX4aj1qd2wato1_500.gif

But guess what? Everyone at grad school was the smartest kid at THEIR college, so now you're like:

Via: 1.bp.blogspot.com

But, college:

Via: http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m434m539bl1rnc1lbo1_500.gif

Grad school:

Via: http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m434m539bl1rnc1lbo1_500.gif

Doritos Locos Tacos: Cool Ranch

I'm sure you're wondering, "Candace, the name of your blog is 'Confessions of a Tacoholic' and you haven't made a single post that is taco related!"

You would be right. But do not fret, because here it comes. After much anticipation, the Doritos Locos Cool Ranch tacos have finally come out, and you better believe I was scrounging up every last dime I had to buy a taco twelve pack (Yes I shared with Grandma, I'm not that cruel y'all). 

Now I know that companies try to build a bunch of hype around their new products, and more often than not the product is underwhelming. I'm definitely not the kind of person who gets overly hype about new stuff, but I do make exceptions for things that are taco related and android phone related. I stared at the twelve tacos and my stomach grumbled with excitement because I have seriously been waiting for this for a LONG time. 

When the original Doritos Locos Nacho tacos came out, I was excited, and I tried them, but the first thing I said when I took a bite was "I bet these would be better if it were Cool Ranch." THE TACO GODS HEARD ME SPEAK AND THEY ANSWERED MY PRAYER. Taco Gods don't disappoint. 

Alright, enough of that, let's get to the actual taste and review of these taco shaped pieces of heaven.

Even though I'm a sauce boss, I decided to take a bite sans sauce to get the full effect of the flavor. I probably smiled when I took that bite, and I probably looked creepy as hell. It's hard to not love that bite if you're a true cool ranch fan. You can taste it immediately, and combining it with the mixin's and fixin's of the taco, well, it's just too good to be true. Remember that this is coming from a girl who loves to dip her cool ranch Doritos into chili & cheese when I get a hot dog from 7-11. I only did that once though. Or 47 times. Who's counting? 

Here's the thing, if you don't already like Taco Bell's tacos, you can't expect that the cool ranch shell is going to miraculously make you enjoy them. If you're one of those people who goes "Argh! Taco Bell has Grade D beef! It's unhealthy for you! It tastes like hell froze over! Gargh!" then you're probably not gonna like it. So relax, no one is forcing you to eat them, you damn pirates! However, if you are a taco enthusiast like me who enjoys trying all tacos from different lands, then yes, this taco is a MUST try in the next few weeks! After the first bite I took, I did drench it in taco sauces and it just made it even better! 

So there you have it, my semi-professional-but-not-really opinion on the new Doritos Locos Cool Ranch tacos. So what are you waiting for? Sitting here reading this blog post? It's over now, so go to the nearest Taco Bell immediately! Go, Go, Go! Unless you're one of those pirates I quoted earlier, in which case, I'm sorry your life lacks flavor.

♥ Love at first bite ♥

Peace ☮,

Candace

Never the Bride OR the Bridesmaid?

I've already expressed this many times: it doesn't look like I will be a bride any time soon, if ever, mostly because I have no idea who will have the guts to commit to a crazy blacktina like me. 

Now that that's out of the way, let's talk about the real reason for this post.

I've been thinking a lot recently about all of my friends who are getting engaged and getting married. At first it took a while for me to get invited to any weddings, but I am finally starting to get invited which is great. I was worried for a long time that I wasn't good enough to be on the guest list, but more about my insecurities in another blog post.  Even more than getting invited to weddings, I feel like that next level of friendship would be someone asking me to play a role in their wedding - in this case, being a bridesmaid. I recently heard a friend talk about her bridesmaids and it made me acquire an entirely new fear: who is going to ask me to be a bridesmaid? Will that ever happen? Do I have close enough friends that would ask me to do something that special for them on their day? Everyone always says "Candace, you're so social! You're a social butterfly!" Yes, this is true, and it's really swell, sure, but do you realize how hard it is to have meaningful relationships as a social butterfly? It's very difficult. It feels sometimes that I spread myself so far and thin between all of the "friends" I have, that it becomes hard to realize who my true friends are. Who are the friends that I call when I have a problem? Who are the friends that cry with me? Who are the friends that I see on a regular basis? Who are the friends that know my secrets and insecurities? Now, I realize that having true friends and being asked to be a bridesmaid do not necessarily correlate, but I do feel like it's a huge honor that I have yet to enjoy. Yes I am young and yes I don't have that many friends getting married and yes it's really not a huge deal, but the underlying context of all this gets me to think about my friendships and how I need to be better at connecting on deeper levels. 

On that note, this brings me to my next question: is it me or is it my friends? I think the answer is definitely both, but it changes every now and then. For example, I have a few friends that I know genuinely care about my life, but either I don't reach out to them to update them or they don't reach out to me to ask for an update. I also have friends that I've tried to tell some really personal secrets and struggles and it makes them uncomfortable to the point that they laugh it off and say "cheer up" or "you'll be fine" which might be my biggest pet peeves. It feels like I can't win sometimes - whether I try to reach out and don't get any genuine support back or my friends aren't reaching over the aisle enough to ask me what I'm doing or I'm not calling the people I consider my good friends enough to give them updates. It's a complicated mess, but the theme that stays consistent is this: I need to build stronger, long-lasting friendships. I have never been good at this, and it probably has a lot to do with my history of relationships and how most of them growing up were dysfunctional, so I never acquired good skills on relationship building in a meaningful way. I think I have become a person that people know they can come to me with their problems, but I don't know if the favor is ever returned to me so I feel like I keep my secrets to myself. Trust me, it's not healthy, and I'm working on it, I promise. 

Since I am the queen of not knowing how to take my advice, but great at giving it, here are some things I would probably tell someone else if they had my dilemma:

1. Build your trust - running away from your feelings or the possibility of uncomfortable feelings and rejection only leave us more vulnerable. Trust people enough to know that they can handle what you give them, and have mercy on those who might not know how to handle you either. We're not perfect.
2. Make contact routine - put it in your schedule to give an old friend a call at least once every 2 weeks. My roommates from college are people I consider to be my best friends but I barely even speak to them anymore. Take the initiative to reach out and create a culture of constant communication to build that friendship.
3. Don't compare yourself - often we look at other people's friendships and wish they were ours. Your relationship with a friend might be different than their relationship with another one of your friends, but different doesn't mean better or worse. We all need different people for different reasons, it's okay to accept that. 

Maybe this time I'll try to take my own advice. Sometimes I need to write things out and say them back to myself as if I'm outside of my body, talking to myself. Friendships are a big deal for me and I just want to be better at creating meaningful, deeper friendships, that's all it really is. And to all of my friends reading this blog post, I hope you will help keep me accountable to build our relationship, and I hope you'll challenge and support me by being there for me too!

Peace ☮,

Candace