That's what my mom said to me tonight. I've been feeling terrible lately because I've been bottling up a feeling inside me for a few days. I don't really want to talk about what it actually was because I don't want that person to read this and know it was them causing me that much pain, to be completely honest - I'm not ready to confront them and tell them how they made me feel, so I'm going to put it off like I did all my college papers and projects. The point is that I was trying to express my feelings about a certain incident, and I kept using the words angry or annoyed or frustrated, but my mom told me that truly what was happening to me was that I was feeling hurt.
And that's when it hit me...
Rarely do I ever use the word hurt to describe my feelings. A lot of times when I do feel hurt I try to cover it up by saying that I'm angry or annoyed. All I'm really doing is building up a wall in front of my heart, because I don't want to admit that I'm not a hard ass like people think I am, and that truly a lot of things just plain hurt my feelings. Vulnerability is just not something I'm a fan of, and because of my complete fear of it I've often turned down the wrong emotional road to run away from it. Well, that's got to end and it's ending right now. From now on, I'm going to promise myself to let myself feel hurt. Let my heart feel pain and sadness. Not let myself turn that heartache into anger because it's all a lie. No more. Time to change.
Feeling hurt - it's a new look.
Peace & Love,
Candace
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