The Wild Rose

Recently I decided to take a test. A love test. I have heard good things about this test, so I figured I'd give it a shot because it seemed a little more complex than your average online test. Maybe the test was a little too good, though. Maybe it really peaked into my soul and shared something I didn't want anyone to know. But maybe I needed to hear it and see it for myself so I could really sink in and think about my future. I have always felt like I would never really be suitable for marriage or any real level of commitment  but I thought it was because I was scared of being tied down. I am scared of being tied down, but it's so much more than that. Believe me when I say that this test result describes me to a tee, unfortunately, and it is the reason I will probably continue to collect cats until they cast me on the next episode of Animal Hoarders, but I digress.

"Colorful, but unpicked. You are The Wild Rose.

Prone to bouts of cynicism, sarcasm, and thorns, you excite a certain kind of man. Hoping to gather you up, he flirts and winks and asks you out, ultimately professing his love. Then you make him bleed. Why? Because you’re the rare, independent, self-sufficient kind of woman who does want love, but not from a weakling.

You don’t seem to take yourself too seriously, and that’s refreshing. You aren't uptight; you don’t over-plan. Romance-wise, sex isn't a top priority—a true relationship would be preferable. For your age, you haven’t had a lot of bonafide love experience, though, and this kind of gets to core of the issue. You’re very selective.

The problem is them, not you, right? You have lofty standards that few measure up to. You’re out there all right, but not to be picked up by just anyone."

Sad, but true. Though, I can't decide if I'm too sad about it. I'm perfectly happy being this way, but I wonder how long that happiness will last. Is it just because I'm too young? Is it wrong to demand better? Is it wrong to not sacrifice the career I've worked so hard on for an overrated "marriage"? Is it wrong to not let societal pressure dominate how I think as a woman? Is it wrong to think in a nontraditional way?
How can I be independent and still be in a relationship? Is it based on the man I marry or based on something I can do? How do you balance this?

Fellow women, what do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Peace ☮,

Candace

Reason #457 I'm a Democrat

Here's a funny political story/joke for your entertainment on this Sunday afternoon:

A great joke that describes the Republican Party perfectly…

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You
are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

The woman rolled her eyes and said, "You must be an Obama Democrat."
"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Republican." "I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are -- or where you are going. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault."

"I Must Be Strong"

I know it's been a long time since I've written a blogpost, so I'm sorry for that, but I thought this would be a good reintroduction to me and blogging!

I took this test on a website that supposedly after answering only TWO questions can tell a lot about you. When I got this result, it pretty much hit the nail on the head for me. Check me out:

8 - the Asserter

Thanks for taking the test !

you chose AY - your Enneagram type is EIGHT (aka "The Challenger").

"I must be strong"

Asserters are direct, self-reliant, self-confident, and protective.

How to Get Along with Me

• Stand up for yourself... and me.

• Be confident, strong, and direct.

• Don't gossip about me or betray my trust.

• Be vulnerable and share your feelings. See and acknowledge my tender, vulnerable side.

• Give me space to be alone.

• Acknowledge the contributions I make, but don't flatter me.

• I often speak in an assertive way. Don't automatically assume it's a personal attack.

• When I scream, curse, and stomp around, try to remember that's just the way I am.

What I Like About Being a EIGHT

• being independent and self-reliant

• being able to take charge and meet challenges head on

• being courageous, straightforward, and honest

• getting all the enjoyment I can out of life

• supporting, empowering, and protecting those close to me

• upholding just causes

What's Hard About Being a EIGHT

• overwhelming people with my bluntness; scaring them away when I don't intend to

• being restless and impatient with others' incompetence

• sticking my neck out for people and receiving no appreciation for it

• never forgetting injuries or injustices

• putting too much pressure on myself

• getting high blood pressure when people don't obey the rules or when things don't go right

EIGHTs as Children Often

• are independent; have an inner strength and a fighting spirit

• are sometimes loners

• seize control so they won't be controlled

• figure out others' weaknesses

• attack verbally or physically when provoked

• take charge in the family because they perceive themselves as the strongest, or grow up in difficult or abusive surroundings

EIGHTs as Parents

• are often loyal, caring, involved, and devoted

• are sometimes overprotective

• can be demanding, controlling, and rigid

For all those born in the 80's

I found this picture on some website about people who were born in the 80s

WOW, crazy right?! Talk about things that make you feel old.
I definitely remember all of these things. It's so fun to think about how quickly the world changes and how easy it is to forget what life was like before we had the luxuries that technology has brought us. I will definitely be first to admit how much I take for granted having things like a cell phone, and iPad, a computer, etc. Not only that, but things like running water, a roof over my head, food on my table...


Seeing this picture made me reflect on how blessed I truly am, and regardless of the hardships I find myself in, I have to remind myself that I need to be grateful for the life I can live thanks to my hard working parents and the country I live in. 


Take a moment and think about it, and be thankful. 


In the spirit of tacos,
Candace

Finding Purpose Through Vi(Mis)sion

So, what is my purpose on this planet?


For one of my graduate classes I am writing up a personal mission and vision statement about my aspirations as a person and student affairs professional. I have been doing a lot of reflecting on who I want to become and what kind of professional I want to be and then I remembered that I once wrote a mission my senior year of college in Dr. Warner's leadership class, so naturally I pulled it out. 


Here's what it said:

C is for caring for others unconditionally

A is for advocating for those who need heroes

N is for never giving up when trying to achieve a goal, even when facing adversity

D is for dedicating time out of every day to remind someone why they are important to you

A is for actively listening and always having a shoulder for someone to lean on

C is for creating an environment where people feel they can approach you

E is for embracing every day with a positive attitude

Yes it's a pretty long mission statement, but I did really feel every word I put into it. So now I am tasked with finding a new mission and/or modifying what I came up with. The fact of the matter is that I have done a lot of growing since my senior year so I felt it was time for a change. Below is what I came up with - what do you think? Does it fit me? 

My Mission

To live life completely, thoughtfully, creatively, and passionately with a healthy dose of realism mixed with imagination and a never-ending advocacy for any voice left unheard.

My Vision

I am a creative soul with an undying passion to empower and inspire others to pursue their dreams.

I believe that every single person can create their destiny and make a meaningful impact on themselves and their community.

And therefore I amplify the voices of soft spoken heroes and tirelessly advocate for voices left unheard to create positive change.

Who runs the world? Girls.

My friend Megan posted this quote on her Facebook status and it really spoke to me:


"We are the girls with anxiety disorders, filled appointment books, five-year plans. We take ourselves very, very seriously. We are the peacemakers, the do-gooders, the givers, the savers. We are on time, overly prepared, well read, and witty, intellectually curious, always moving…We pride ourselves on getting as little sleep as possible and thrive on self-deprivation. We drink coffee, a lot of it. We are on birth control, Prozac, and multivitamins…We are relentless, judgmental with ourselves, and forgiving to others. We never want to be as passive-aggressive are our mothers, never want to marry men as uninspired as our fathers…We are the daughters of the feminists who said “You can be anything” and we heard “You have to be everything."


Wow, how powerful. 


I feel so lucky to live in a world that is the product of so many women activists fighting for gender equality. I grew up in a Hispanic home where misogynist habits sometimes overpowered the women in my family, but even with those obstacles to overcome I believe that my mom and grandma still taught me how to be a woman who stands up for her rights. They don't want me to marry "uninspired" men, they want me to marry someone that can be my partner and companion, not a chore. They want me to be educated & motivated and in tune with traditions that DON'T keep me down as a woman. They inspire me, and for that I thank them. Hopefully I can continue the legacy of strong Avalos women. 


In the spirit of Tacos,
Candace

Valentino's Story

Introducing the brand new addition to the Avalos feline family...

VALENTINO AVALOS

Here's the story:
I have a b-e-a-utiful cat Muñeca who has been in my life for 13 YEARS. I have loved her so much since the moment she stepped into my life as a baby. All her life she's been pretty healthy minus the obesity part and I have been regularly taking her to the vet for her shots and check ups. Recently she's been barfing all the time and when I told the vet he said it could be a tumor. I was heartbroken. As of right now I'm taking it one day at a time and giving her medicine in hopes that she'll get better and that the vet had it wrong. He only said it was a possibility but the reality is that Muñeca is an old cat now and health complications will occur. 


When I got home that evening I cried and cried in worry for my baby. Mom finally decided that it was time I started bringing another kitty into my life to keep Muñeca and I company during these hard times. At first it was just an idea and then fate stepped in...


Dad saw this ad at his work one day:

I called the man to ask about the cat but he was unavailable so I left him a voicemail. A few days later I received a call back from this man and he told me that he had several people that left him voicemails who were interested in the cat, but out of everyone his children picked me because they felt I would take the best care of the cat just based upon my voice and what I said. Apparently he is very well trained and also brings good luck because since they have owned TJ (his original name) they've won several hundred in lottery tickets and the first week they had him they got a $20 coupon for cat food! And so it has begun.....


I am very happy to bring Valentino into my home because I have so much love to give. I saved him from having to go to a shelter where he might have been euthanized. My mom is giving him to me as an early Valentine's Day present and so it was appropriate that he be named Valentino, which is a common Italian name and is derived from Valentine and Love. 


Don't get it twisted - Muñeca is my first love, and I will continue to love her with every ounce of my being. I hope that she can accept him into her life and love him just like a brother. 

Muñeca, my first love

You can call me a crazy cat lady all you want, but I am not ashamed. I saved Muñeca after being abandoned by her alley cat mother on the streets of D.C. and now I'm saving Valentino from a sad, loveless life in a shelter. Welcome to the family Valentino, we love you!


Cat lady and proud,
Candace